"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
