I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Randomize
