I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
