Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You dont lie about slip and slides
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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