something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
