remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
