forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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