sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
