Already got asked if we're dating
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
