Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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