Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize