Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
