i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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