just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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