What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will pee on everything he values.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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