I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
