Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
