Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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