I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
