Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
