You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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