my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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