I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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