i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
