I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
