she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
