I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
