I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
