I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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