how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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