A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
