I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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