im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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