I am puke
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
