i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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