ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
