I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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