I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize