you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
