tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
