I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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