hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
