Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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