So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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