What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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