Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
