i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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