How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
