why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
