But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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