So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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