if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
the raccoons are back...
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