Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I want a musical about memes.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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