Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
