I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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