My hand turned me down
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
