just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
