I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
