there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize