I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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