Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
