Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
