dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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